Happiness

I've become convinced I am just not supposed to have a happy life. No matter what it is that makes me happy, it never lasts for more than a week.

Something always happens to either cancel out the happiness that was once made, or whatever it was that made me happy, goes away.

I am yet again left here in nothing but despair. I was told I was just what she needed, what she wanted. She told me she likes me, she said yes to going on a date with me.

In the end I'm trying to see things through her eyes. I don't know how to deny myself of those feelings. I'm a romantic, so love is everything to me.

I've realized i just can't understand how someone can say they like you romantically, but deny themselves what their mind and body is telling them they want.

Maybe i have life and love all wrong, but I strongly believe that you do what your body tells you. That feeling in your gut is what you need to follow.

It's a rare occasion when my mind and body are telling me the same thing. I'm trying to be respectful of what she says, and see things from her point of view.

But it seems I'm going to have to grasp that for once, I just can't understand something.

Whether it be how to deny yourself of what you want, how to sit by as someone amazing slips through your grasp, or just women in general, I'm not sure yet.